17-year-old asks her late father's childhood friend to fund her college education despite not talking to him for 7 years: 'I’m currently putting 3 of my kids through college right now, 2 of them in medical school'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 29, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

He gave her a firm no, but she didn't push the matter.

There's a lot of social stigma around asking people for money, and for good reasons. Nobody is entitled to anyone else's money, even if that person would gladly and freely give their money away. It can come off as entitled to ask your aunt, whom you barely talk to, for money, especially if you've made no other effort to form a relationship with her outside of that question. 

There is a time and a place where asking a family member or friend for money is more socially appropriate. Young couples often ask their parents or in-laws for money for a wedding or a down payment on their first house. Their parents might not agree to give them the money, but it's not like it's a totally out-of-line question, unless the parents are worse off financially than their children. 

The main thing about asking anyone for money is that you cannot expect them to agree to give it to you. As long as you can accept a "no" with dignity and respect, asking the question is probably not going to ruin your relationship. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Smiling woman in white shirt
    via Jordan Ulmer

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But what if you ask someone for money you don't have a relationship with? That will almost certainly guarantee that you won't have a relationship in the future, and that's probably what will happen between this teenage girl and her late father's longtime friend. She came to him with ulterior motives aside from merely connecting.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy for not giving my late friend’s daughter a college fund?

    1 54M lost a good childhood friend 7 years ago, we weren't really best friends or anything like that but he was my classmate and a good guy and I helped him out and once did a case for him for completely free since I'm a lawyer, it went on for about two years but we won it, he wasn't the most financially stable guy so I didn't take anything from him.
    via u/Glittering-Aside8149
  • 03
    He had one daughter that's now 17, recently she reached out to me on my personal facebook, I didn't know who she was and so she introduced herself and said that she was my old friend's daughter, she said she never forgot about how I helped her late dad one time with his case and she wanted to thank me, I
    via u/Glittering-Aside8149
  • 04
    told her it was fine and there was no need to thank me, she kept asking about life and stuff which was weird and she finally asked if I could help her out with college, she said her mom can't help her out.
    via u/Glittering-Aside8149
  • 05
    People sitting on green grass field during daytime
    via Li Guan

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    I told her I was sorry but I can't do that as I'm currently putting three of my kids through college right now two of them being medical schools, I can't afford yet another one and I told her that honestly she's a stranger to me and that I'm not a charity, she said she understood and thanked me again for helping her dad and she never messaged me again.
    via u/Glittering-Aside8149
  • 07
    I've told my wife about it and she said I went too hard on the poor little girl and that she was probably so scared and stressed and she told me I should apologise to her. Should I?
    via u/Glittering-Aside8149
  • 08
    Lost in thoughts portrait of serious calm businessman sitting at table and touching his chin while looking aside meditatively
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Brownie-0109 You probably could have stopped at telling her you're putting three kids through school and wished her luck And, no, don't follow up with her
    via u/Brownie-0109
  • 10
    Acruss_ Idk, we saw plenty of stories about entitled people and everyone have a problem with it. Yet here we are, her ask was soooo entitled. She started with "I still remember how you've helped our family for free" and ended with "so can you now pay for my college?".
    via u/Acruss_
  • 11
    To me she needed to learn how inappropriate and entitled the ask was. Perhaps because of that she won't grow up to be posted as another entitled person story in the future.
    via u/Acruss_
  • 12
    Ok-Crow-2713 Entitled and deaperate are very different things
    via u/Ok-Crow-2713
  • 13
    Enamoure Honestly, I don't see it as entitled. That would have been the case if she kept on going after he said not. But she just let it go. We don't know their situation. Sometimes desperate moments, call for desperate actions. Maybe she just wanted to try and see, at the end of the what's the worse that could happen? He says no and that's it. We move on
    via u/Enamoure
  • 14
    Money-Possibility606 I don't see it as entitled either. What's wrong with shooting your shot? Closed mouths don't get fed. She's a kid, in a desperate situation. She remembers this guy helped them once. Maybe he can help them again. Absolutely perfectly logical reasoning there.
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 15
    She did nothing wrong by asking. OP can't help, he probably could have said it nicer. She accepted his answer and hasn't bothered him since. That's not how "entitled" works.
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 16
    PsiBlaze ΝΤΑ Guarantee that her mother put her up to this.
    via u/PsiBlaze
  • 17
    Atlantic_Nikita Most likely, She was 10 when her dad died, I really doubt she remembers op.
    via u/Atlantic_Nikita
  • 18
    NefariousnessSweet70 I was 7 when Dad and step mom ran off to a new life. I remember the different people who were his friends more than 60 years later.
    via u/NefariousnessSweet70
  • 19
    AwareProfit9591 Why are people so comfortable with asking strangers for money ???????? Bring back shame, please!
    via u/AwareProfit9591
  • 20
    dookle14 I can't afford yet another one You could have just stopped there. That was perfectly sufficient. I told her that honestly she's a stranger to me and that I'm not a charity.
    via u/dookle14
  • 21
    I mean, technically true, but did this really need to get said? She probably worked up a lot of courage to ask, no need to go this far. NTA - but could have been more tactful in your response.
    via u/dookle14
  • 22
    New-Waltz-2854 I agree with this. But, I would not contact to apologize unless you are going to help her with college. Don't get her hopes up even for a second. That would be cruel. You are taking care of your children's college and medical school, that is priority as it should be.
    via u/New-Waltz-2854
  • 23
    Street-Leather-6932 ttttt THIS is the best answer. If he can provide ANY help (no matter how small), I would reach out. I had to do the same with a niece but I'm putting two grandchildren through right now and can't afford to cover all of her costs too. I let her know that I could possibly give her something here and there and that seems to be working.
    via u/Street-Leather-6932
  • 24
    TBH, I give her more than her parents but it's not more than I can afford. I promised the grandkids that I'd take care of them (parents give them something now and then) so, I'm obligated there. Everyone else has to stand in line. I was also asked by another niece that has never acknowledged my existence unless she wanted something. I denied her outright.
    via u/Street-Leather-6932

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

reddit stories friendship teens teenager teenagers college fund college students childhood friend friends reddit story reddit thread Reddit college college student Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article